The Very Merry Month of May!

Alas, May has arrived--and with it, Spokane's third warm day (high temperatures reaching 60 degrees). Some much-needed removal of very large weeds and dandelions in one of my front yard plots revealed this very first tulip nearing full bloom. The others are all standing strong against April's showers, snow, sleet, hail and massive winds--but this one is so close to opening that it is taking all my willpower to be indoors and not on all fours in my front yard giving it the ol' stare down until it opens up!

I recently joined a gym a couple blocks away from my house. The act of intentionally moving my body has been a source of pleasure as well as a source of healing as I work to regain my strength, balance and flexibility. I continue to face the joys, triumphs and occasional tribulations of adjusting to C-PAP therapy to treat my obstructive sleep apnea. I try to balance my need to remain positive and focused with the equally important need to remain realistic and honest about how that is going. Like that single tulip about to bloom, I am reminded moment by moment that wherever you are, you're here AND that's alright! Being here, wherever that may be, is enough in this moment and my eye is very much on the prize--a full and abundant life of peace and wellness. One thing I've greatly enjoyed about my gym membership is that I've been able to pack up my mat and take my home Yoga practice to a class setting.
It has been a very long time since I've taken a Yoga class. Yoga has an amazing power to connect my mind and spirit to my body, and when you throw in a bunch of other bodies to that mix, the energy of the mind and spirit seems to increase tenfold. One challenge I faced immediately, which I did not anticipate, was my own sense of competitiveness and insecurity. At home, my focus is always on alignment and this gift of time, breath and movement I am giving to myself. I did not expect to find my thoughts shift as much as they did upon going through my first class. I was not only comparing myself to the other bodies in the room, but rather comparing what I used to be able to do to what those other bodies were doing. At the end of my first session, the instructor played a song and talked about "The Art of Letting Go." I found myself crying in corpse pose, but resisted the urge to leave and breathed through it. I thought more and more about what that means--this art of letting go...

...And I came to realize, letting go is not about being out of control. It is about releasing the burden of needing to be in control all of the time.

I went back to a Yoga class today--a longer, more challenging class. At first, I found my thoughts drifting to that negative space again, but I came back to my breath, and to the amazing entity that is my body in healing. As soon as I let go of the need to be where I am not, I reveled in the beauty of being where I am. Even 3 months ago, I was unable to hold still. My body moved and twitched on its own accord. I often fell down when standing or walking. Today, in this moment, I am still. I am standing and balancing on one foot with my other leg and arms raised in Warrior III pose!
And so, for my Asana of the Month of May, I will be focusing on the three-tiered series of Warrior Poses or Virabhadrasana. These poses involve a wide and open, but firmly rooted stance. I see and feel in this pose just how vital it is to balance being both firmly grounded and open to change--at whatever pace that happens to occur. Wherever you are, you are here and in this moment that is more than good enough!