Parshas Korach: No Man Is An Island

 

Parsha Recap

In this week's parsha, a man named Korach, for whom this portion was named, leads a mutiny against the Jewish high priests of the time, Moshe and his successor-to-be, Aharon. Korach's rationale and that of his 250 all-too-eager followers is that the Jewish people are holy as a whole; no one person should have any greater privilege or responsibility than any other. He criticizes Moshe's leadership skills and his questions his connection and relationship to G-d. The rebellion that ensues brings about a plague that kills 14,700 people and only stops when Aharon, who is divinely destined to succeed Moshe, makes a proper incense offering.

Two specific ideas from this week's parsha stand out to me and have great relevance to our lives today. The first concept is that criticism: How and when should we give it and how and when should we receive it? The second important idea is that of our interdependence and interconnectedness: no man is an island. Every action we take and word we speak creates a lasting and evolving energy that can reach far beyond the realms we could even begin to imagine. This is the proverbial butterfly effect.

On the Topic of Criticism

The Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi M.M. Schneerson, of righteous memory, advised that criticism of another person is not necessarily something to be avoided, but is an action that should be reserved for the security of a close friendship. Additionally, one should only criticize a close friend who has the same knowledge, experience and perspective from which to draw an informed opinion and/or decision on a matter. In the event that one is not a close friend to someone he/she wishes to criticize, that connection should be developed before criticism is delivered. Then, and only then, should one criticize another person--if, after really getting to know this person you even still have the urge to criticize him/her!*
  *This information was compiled from here and here.

From this, we see how important it is to truly put ourselves in another person's shoes before casting
judgment. Whether it's as 'innocent' as jumping to an unfavorable conclusion about the woman who cuts you in line at the grocery store or as personal as sharing a negative opinion of someone with that person (or even worse, with someone else), do we really have all the facts? Do we know everything that occurred previously in a person's day--or life, for that matter--that led them to act or speak in a way we deemed unsavory? Additionally, what is it about their behavior that is causing us to feel critical? In many cases, when I've felt critical of someone else, I can identify that I am, in fact, not feeling critical as much as I am feeling hurt, embarrassed, and/or insecure about my own behavior. That which I find unappealing in another person almost always mirrors something I find unappealing in myself.

We're All In It Together

That brings me to this idea of the butterfly effect. How far do our words or actions really reach? What about our thoughts? On the topic of gossip, or lashon hara (lit. evil tongue), it is said that talking about another person brings harm to three people: 1) the person who speaks, 2) the person being spoken about, and, 3) the person who hears it. Of course speaking ill of someone would bring harm to that person, and of course someone speaking in such a way is subject to the inherent negatives of that behavior, but why the person who hears it? (S)he didn't ask to be a part of this, why is (s)he in any way harmed because of it? The reason is that our words, our actions, and even our thoughts create an energy that, once exuded, is hard to reverse. We all do it. We make a seemingly harmless comment about a person and it spins out of control. Social networking and our age of immediate and widespread connection through the internet make this an even greater risk. It takes literally seconds to type something and hit 'enter' and even if we delete it later, the damage has already been done...

Even our more personal and private thoughts and attitudes are subject to this ripple effect. Have you ever noticed on a day that you feel grumpy, tired, or down in the dumps that everything seems to go wrong? Or how about a day when you're feeling your very best and you seem to have amazing luck? Our thoughts and attitudes are very powerful; we perceive the minutia of everyday events through the lens of our current mood and mindset. Of course, there are cases where our mood/mindset are affected adversely by, G-d forbid, illness, a chemical imbalance, or a major life event or tragedy. Oftentimes, however, the "stuff" in our lives that feels so big, overwhelming, and stifling is largely self-created. This is not to say that our feelings of frustration, fatigue, loneliness, anger, etc., are invalid or not real. It is, however, often possible to see things another way and act accordingly. By shifting one's mindset, one can also shift her/his mazal (luck). In other words, don't sweat the small stuff. Think good and it will be good.

 

 

Wrapping It Up...No Man Is An Island

In Parshah Korach, the Torah states "There shall not be like Korach and his congregation." (Bamidbar 17:5) We are, through this verse, commanded against being involved in quarrels. But what if we're 'just in a bad environment?' Are we not a product of the society we live in? Why should we be accountable for others' actions? It's enough work to be accountable for our own sometimes! However, one answer may be found from within the very phrase "no man is an island." We all have unique talents, unique skills and unique passions. We also have personal areas where we need growth and refinement. Were we alone in our endeavor on this planet, we very much would be at the mercy of our own devices. However, we are not alone; we are surrounded by billions of other human counterparts. No one can deny even the most subtle influence of our fellow man if you think about it. How many times have you seen someone yawn and done so yourself even though you're not at all tired. How about those times you hear a child or a friend laughing and even though you don't know what's so funny, you find yourself beginning to chuckle, too? Deeper still, is the idea that we can learn, grown and gain from everyone and anyone we happen to cross paths with; even those whom we find difficult. It may not be possible or even healthy to see the world through rose colored glasses all of the time; but we can strive to look at others and at ourselves with a good eye as often as possible. It may seem at times, like it did to Korach and his followers, that the power, resources, and pleasures in this world have been doled out unfairly and unequally. Unlike Korach and his followers, we may very well be accurate in this assumption in some cases. However, in order to bring about peace around us, one must establish peace within. Sometimes, that will require a trust that G-d has our very best interest behind His master plan; even when that is not clearly evident.