Returning to Your Jerusalem

A few days ago, I read the following in a daily email I receive from Chabad.org:

"People want to run away from where they are, to go to find their Jerusalem—as if elsewhere they will find perfection. Wherever you are, whatever you are doing there, make that a Jerusalem."

This struck a chord not only because of my own unique journey, but also because of the common journey we as humans all share. I thought about the aspects of our physical world that we cling to and yet they are only temporary. And that is twofold: inasmuch as we cling so tenaciously to our comforts and 'happiness,' so, too, do we struggle to let go of our fears and our pain. Whether "where you are" is a state of location, a circumstance of obligation, or a sense of mind, it is your Jerusalem. It's not your Jerusalem because it's necessarily what you wanted or how you planned. It's not your Jerusalem because its roads are paved with golden ease. It's not even your Jerusalem because it's permanent--permanence in and of itself is a fallacy! But it is your Jerusalem because in this very moment-- and only this moment--you are meant to be exactly where you are, doing exactly what you are doing.


As I shared in a previous post, Rosh Chodesh Kislev is just around the corner. The new month officially begins tonight. For women especially, it is an auspicious time. We refrain from certain types of work and immerse in extra prayer, particularly in reciting Tehillim (Psalms). Prayer is, of course, a very private conversation with G-d, but my heart is pouring out right now to the many loved ones, friends, and strangers who are suffering from that feeling of disconnect and darkness. For whatever reason, and for many reasons, we can find ourselves in a state of emotional, physical and even spiritual exhaustion. In those times, the walls come down and the heart pours out its song. From the pain you may sit in, it can sound dissonant and be hard to listen. And yet, to me it is the most beautiful song the ears can hear. It is raw, it is genuine, and it is real. 

These states of being can last for moments of a day or even days at a time. And yet, they, too, are only fleeting. However, in those times that we often refer to as moments of weakness, our true strength shines through. We are not weak, inadequate, or unworthy because we feel intellectually, physically or spiritually far from Home/G-d/Jerusalem. We are so incredibly strong because in those moments we are no longer running on intellect, physical strength and emotions alone: it is those times specifically that our soul-power takes over. We run on G-dliness! Even the greatest level of faith is characterized by some level of doubt.

This Rosh Chodesh, as I take some extra time to immerse in my own prayer, I've much to be grateful for. There are many exciting and rewarding things happening in my life right now and I am nearly overflowing with the joy and abundance I feel. At the same time, my heart is open to those who in this darkest month of the year are not feelin' that joy and love. My prayers are focused on that, as well--because as far as you ever feel and as dark as it seems, light is just a breath away and your Jerusalem is already within you. It is there when you are joyful. It is there when you feel strong. It is there when you are certain and self-assured. It is also there when you are sad and when you are afraid. It is there when you feel tired and more than anything just want to rest and be held. It is there--more than ever before--when you let go and give in (even temporarily) to the doubt you feel. For in those moments, when your deepest and truest heart-song sings, then you are in Jerusalem; then you are at Home.