Shabbos Schmooze: Parshas Vayeira--The Original Before & After Shot

This week's parsha is one of two parshios focused predominantly on the life of Avraham. According to an overview of this week's parsha in this week's Chayenu*, these portions distinctly divide the account of Avraham's life into two spiritual phases. It is the original 'before' and 'after' shot, if you will. The first, Lech Lecha, refers to the period of time prior to Avraham's circumcision. Lech lecha, if you will recall from this post, translates in English as "go, go to yourself." It as an account of Avraham's journey toward his true self and only in this week's parsha, Vayeira (meaning "G-d appeared to him") does Avraham begin his life as a Jew.

*Chayenu is an amazing weekly publication of Daily Torah Study that a friend and learning partner encouraged me to subscribe to--I have NOT regretted that investment at all and highly recommend this to anyone looking to rev up their level of learning and study.

I have shared often with many people that Lech Lecha is my favorite parsha and I would classify Vayeira as a close second. I think, as a ba'al teshuva, I am strongly drawn to the positive midos (character traits) that Avraham exemplifies as not only the first Jew, but in a sense, the original ba'al teshuva! To get technical, G-d actually appeared to Avraham three times in Parshas Lech Lecha, so to imply that He only appeared to him after his circumcision, beginning in Parshas Vayeira is not entirely accurate. What can be taken from this explicit distinction, however, is the idea that prior to undergoing circumcision, Avraham's journey toward discovering his true self was very much self-directed. Only after circumcision, only after for the first time fulfilling a commandment that was specifically directed from G-d, does Avraham reach this new level of spiritual connection in which "G-d appears to him and elevates him to a level of spiritual life beyond the reach of human effort (Chayenu, Week of Parshas Vayeira, October 28-November 2, 2012, page 5)." The very act of Avraham performing his own circumcision is exemplary of his entrance into this new relationship with G-d. There is a level of selflessness and faith I cannot even begin to comprehend in being able and willing to inflict that level of pain on oneself for the sake of fulfilling G-d's will.

I could never begin to compare myself to Avraham. I could pray, strive and toil to be a person even one billionth as holy. There are unique concepts in the story of Avraham, particularly in this parsha that I can loosely relate to, however. As a ba'al teshuva, I am often aware that my own life story could seemingly be divided into before and after, into lech lecha and vayeira. In some ways, the change is physically obvious. My daily life is different in palpable ways. Where I live, how I live, how I dress, how I eat, when and where I work and play are all distinctly affected by my choice to live, breathe and walk Orthodox Judaism. Some changes may be less obvious and more subtle. My relationships with others, my relationship toward myself and my relationship to G-d have all distinctly changed. The peace and contentment I feel within greatly enhances my ability to connect in a peaceful and content manner with others.

Much of the journey up until now would not have been possible without a leap of faith. Sometimes that meant facing a test or tribulation. Sometimes that meant sitting in some significant discomfort. Oftentimes, our comfort zone in and of itself is just a manifestation of what's familiar--not necessarily what's comfortable at all! There will, G-d willing, be many more miles of faith to leap, of trials to endure and discomforts to tolerate. However, I have crossed the threshold of life before finding my true self and entered into the times in which my path is clear, my hopes are strong and my actions and intent are backed by the solidarity of my connection to G-d. Many parts that were once a struggle are now blissfully effortless. It is very much that "level of spiritual life beyond the reach of human effort." If I were asked how and why that is, my answer would be very simple: Hashem li v'lo ira. G-d is with me, I shall not fear.

Good Shabbos!